City Boy - 5705: as punk and new wave shaped the fashions and aesthetics of the musical landscape, one hit wonders City Boy arrived on TOTP in Space 1999-style birmos and Happy Days/Scott Baio-inspired capped sleeves. Their vaguely 'rock' sound was as bad as their duds. 1/10

Gladys Knight and the Pips - Come Back and Finish What You Started: It's my curse that I can't think of the lovely Gladys's surname without thinking of the French taunter's pronunciation in Holy Grail. Substandard Gladys pop is always at least listenable. 5/10

Goldie - Breaking Up Again: terrible Rod Stewart-inspired vocals aside, this is a truly shit record. 1/10

ELO - Wild West Hero: one of the depressing things about discovering new record shops on my travels is how one's expectations turn to dust when you discover that the record shop owner has terrible music taste and all of his (and it's only men who have shit record stores) acquisitions are 'rock' inspired, with ELO as the 'pop' sweetener to liven up shelf after shelf of Medicine Head, Steve Hackett and Robin Trower. 3/10

Clout - Substitute: hated them at the time because they were white South Africans, and the ghastly, obviously-chosen-by-a-man, sordid implications of the band name. Still hate them for being white South Africans - and their name - but a great pop record. The bastards. 8/10

Blue Oyster Cult - Don't Fear the Reaper: whenever I've read a Stephen King book, I've waited patiently for the DFTR reference (or Bad Moon Rising). I shouldn't really like this. Shame on me. 7/10

The O'Jays - Use Ta Be My Girl: their last hit in the UK. A great trio who'd run out of steam. 3/10

Lindisfarne - Run For Home: I remember when Osvaldo Ardiles signed for Spurs in 1978 and LWT commissioned a special 35mm film to show off his talents during a game at White Hart Lane. They played this in the background. It was bizarre, shite and ace at the same time - unlike this record, which is just 'meh'.  4/10

A Taste of Honey - Boogie Oogie Ooogie: two female leads - upfront, and playing bass and rhythm guitar. Such a pity they didn't go on to better things. Silly title aside, this is a brilliant record. 9/10

Showaddywaddy - A Little Bit of Soap: who's worse* - Racey or Showaddywaddy? What's worse: auto-da-fé or being eaten alive by wild dogs? 0/10 

*these c***s.

The Boomtown Rats - Like Clockwork: Gambaccini should have mentioned that this was the first 'punk' record ever played on Radio 2, but he didn't. Much as I dislike Geldof, the Rats seem vaguely OK with the help of 43 years' perspective. They're often like an Evo Stik League Springsteen. Not on this one, mind - which was getting on my t's after about thirty seconds. 3/10

The Motors - Airport: "We're 'motoring' into the Top 5...next" says Gambaccini, fully justifying the £300,000+ salary our licence fee supports. I quite like the urgency of this song, but that's about it. "It flew to number five," said Gambaccini after it had finished - fully justifying the £300,000+ salary our licence fee supports. 4/10

James Galway - Annie's Song: fucking hell. 0/10

Marshall Hain - Dancing in the City: two hippy chancers refine their act for a post-punk world. Rubbish, but not offensive. 2/10

Father Abraham and the Smurfs - The Smurf Song: if Father Abraham wasn't on the register then... 0/10

John Travolta and Olivia Newton John - You're the One That I Want: much as I like Summer Nights, I can't stand this song. It reminds me of eight weeks of torture back in 1978 - and the sheer terror of the Grease Megamix at a wedding disco. 0/10

Gambaccini: it's only the thought of someone worse (Schofield, Holmes E, Tony Blackburn again) that gives me some sense of perspective. 0/10
Programme as a Whole: rubbish, but a bad 70s is nowhere near a bad 80s. 5/10
Worst Record: the shit Teds/Galway
Best Record: a Taste of Honey (by a mile). Click on the link to hear the song.