I think 1979 is my favourite pop year. (2019 comes close, but none of my 100 favourites were allowed to get anywhere near the charts.) January 1979 was bitterly cold, and you'd never guess that '79 was such a great (chart) music year from the first two terrible songs...

Rocky Sharpe and the Replays - Ramalamadingdong

Did this last year. Time hasn't mellowed my opinion. Gambaccini seems to have an unusual emotional connection with this song. Anyway, it's just terrible. Music for buffoons. 0/10

The Three Degrees - Woman in Love

I don't want to sound like Prince Charles (which is better than sounding like his younger brother) but Sheila Ferguson was on some Channel 5 documentary the other night. She looked amazing and she must be about seventy. I wonder if anyone remembers the other two? I bet they produce the same memory effect as being a 'Pip'. This song goes on forever. And is crap. 2/10

Barry White - Just the Way You Are

Have to come right out with and say that I like Billy Joel's version, but this is much better. Barry's strange buffalo/bison haircut is a thing of great beauty. 7/10

The Bee Gees - Too Much Heaven

I used to work with some bloke whose enunciation was almost exactly like Max Wall's. He was a wrong 'un, as well. A fabulous combination. It's strange the way that the ridiculous becomes the accepted, the norm, whatever. There are days when I quite like the Gibbs, and others (most days, really) when I think: 'Why the holy fuck are you singing like that?"  2/10

Hot Chocolate - I'll Put You Together Again

Songs from musicals. For God's sake.

I bet the other boys in the band were made up having to sit it out while Errol decided to sing with full orchestra and choir.

A really ghastly single - especially the terrible, bombastic final chorus reprise. 0/10

Chaka Khan - I'm Every Woman

Great singer, great production, great single. 9/10

Driver 67 - Car 67

Apparently the Queen Mother rang (well, got someone to ring for her - as if the deeply unpleasant Elizabeth Bowes-Lyon ever did anything for herself - just like her twatty grandson [not the "non sweating" one] who had/has an equerry to put toothpaste on a brush for him) the BBC to insist that this tale of a lovelorn Birmingham minicab driver be played. IMMEDIATELY. 

The Russians knew how to deal with these people. 3/10

Funkadelic - One Nation Under a Groove

Not much to say apart from 'what an incredible record'. 9/10

Chic - Le Freak

See last comment. 8/10 (Point lost for the 'Stompin' at the Savoy' line failing to scan properly.

Paul Evans - Hello, This Is Joanie

Terrible - obviously - but this song still has the power to disturb me. As do all 'snuff' records ('Terry', 'Ernie', 'Leader of the Pack' etc).

I'm a sensitive soul, me. 2/10

Olivia Newton-John - A Little More Love

An unexpectedly great single. 8/10

Earth Wind and Fire - September

I mentioned this a few weeks back, but ever there was a band designed to raise your serotonin levels and improve one's mental health, it's Earth Wind and Fire.

Pardon the language, BUT THIS IS A FUCKING GREAT SINGLE!

God bless you, Maurice, Phillip and the rest of the guys. 10/10

Racey - Lay Your Love On Me

If you had to explain the myth of white supremacy and the warped 'logic' of the racist to some hyper intelligent aliens - and you only had this chart as evidence… 0/10

Ian and the Blockheads - Hit Me With Your Rhythm Stick

Obviously, there are exceptions. A superb single, effortlessly melding any number of influences (jazz, new wave, music hall) with the rude, strange, left-field geographical nursery rhyme lyrics of the brilliant Ian Dury. A deserved (eventual) number one. 8/10

Village People - YMCA

Aceness. 8/10

_________

Gambaccini - 6/10

Programme - 8/10

Worst - Racey

Best - EWF just edge ahead of Chaka.