Katrina and the Waves - Walking on Sunshine

A relentless, saccharine, falsely-upbeat nightmare. And that fucking beat. Imagine working in a place where this ghastliness was piped through the speakers on an eternal loop? Superdrug in Bradford, perhaps.

I would pay someone to kill me. 0/10

Gary Moore and Phil Lynott - Out in the Fields

Oh my God. No. Artificial urgency does not a good record make. Phenomenally shite. 0/10

Go West - Call Me

I - like most sentient beings - can only hear 'corn beef' in perpetuity. Pointless, horrible 80s synthesised powerpop.The sort of music that smarmy, woollen-tied lawyer Howard from Better Call Saul would play in his Jag. 0/10

Loose Ends - Magic Touch

A slight, (just about) jazz funk 45, but a hundred times classier than anything on here so far. (Not difficult.) 7/10

Everton 1985 - Here We Go

He played it! I would have bet my house and contents that Gambaccini wouldn't have! Having said that, this is NOT the original version (what's Daniel Amokachi doing in 1985?). But - poor researching aside - there are no complaints from me. 

Quite simply, the greatest single ever made. 10/10

Simple Minds - Don't You Forget About Me

Graeme Thompson's 2022 Simple Minds biography Theme For Great Cities is one of the best music books I've ever read - brilliantly written and often gripping, it's the perfect book for those of us who were fanatics of the band during their imperious phase, and during their run of unbelievably good albums (1979-82). Listening to their later stadium stuff is like meeting a former lover for whom a once burning passion has long died. Having said that, I really like this record, but in my heart I know it's not really Simple Minds. 7/10

Freddie Mercury - I Was Born To Love You

I really like a lot of Queen's 1970s output - especially their singles. An ideologically unsound band, but some great songs. I just find their 80s output - and Freddie's solo stuff...dire.

Mind you, it's not as bad as Bryan May's solo stuff. 0/10

Bryan Ferry - Slave to Love

Very much in the same vein as the 1982 Roxy album Avalon, Slave to Love glides serenely from start to finish in a rather pleasant manner. A good song. 7/10

Manchester United - We All Follow Manchester United

A sort of melange of Andy Cameron's We're on the March With Ally's Army' and something indeterminate, WAFMU is that rare entity where a record sounds like 22 men are improvising/free-forming the exact same words en masse.

Not a Grammy winner. 0/10

Marillion - Kayleigh

I taught quite a few Kayleighs in my teaching career. I presume this song was the progenitor of their nomenclature. This is quite a nice song, now I come to think of it. 7/10

Phyllis Nelson - Move Closer

A superb vocal and a classy, melancholic love song. Ace - and much better than Tom Jones's rather creepy version. 9/10

Jimmy Nail - Love Don’t Live Here Any More 

Fuck off. 0/10

Duran Duran - A View To A Kill

I remember my dad taking me to see Live and Let Die in 1973. Not really understanding its racist overtones and lacking (as yet) a firm grasp of Marxist theory, I thoroughly enjoyed myself. It was nowhere near as good as Diamonds are Forever, but was there ever a more beautiful film star than the young Jane Seymour? Probably. What do I know? One thing I do know is that Roger Moore was a terrible choice as James Bond. I could never make it all the way through another Roger Moore Bond film. A pity, as he always seemed such a likeable fellow who understood his limitations and the nature of his good luck. Anyway, a surprisingly good Bond theme from DD. 7/10

Paul Hardcastle - 19

Hardcastle outed himself as Tory Brexiteer royalist of unbelievable unpleasantness a few years back. I was so glad. I've hated this record with a passion for 37 years. 0/10

Gambaccini: he played the Toffees! 10/10

Programme as a whole: one or two decent songs; otherwise terrible. As ever. 4/10

Best song: 1. EFC 2. Nelson, P.

Worst: that Jimmy Nail monstrosity. (And his record)

Click on the link to play the song.